


Dr. Teal

by MaatMons



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 19:52:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12848346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaatMons/pseuds/MaatMons
Summary: So, I was at the store looking at bath salts, then next thing I know, I've written this.





	Dr. Teal

L4D13S 4ND G3NTL3M3N OF TH3 PR3SS!! 1'D L1K3 TO 4DDR3SS RUMORS TH4T 1, DR. T3R3Z1 PYROP3, C3O OF DR. T34L'S 4ROM4TH3R4PY PRODUCTS LLC, 4M S3CR3TLY TH3 FR1GG1N' 4W3SOM3 BL1NDFOLD3D SUP3RH3RO, DR. T34L. FR4NKLY, TH3S3 RUMORS, 4R3 R1D1CULOUS. SO, WH4T, 3V3RY BL1ND, T34L-BLOOD3D TROLL W1TH TH3 UNPR3C3D3NT3D 4B1L1TY TO S33 BY SM3LL MUST B3 TH3 S4M3 P3RSON?? TH4T'S R4C1ST!!

4ND, 4NYW4Y!! 1'V3 N3V3R OFF1C14LLY CONF1RM3D TH4T 1, ORD1N4RY C1T1Z3N T3R3Z1 PYROP3, 4M C4P4BL3 OF US1NG MY SUP3RHUM4N S3NS3S TO COMP3NS4T3 FOR MY L4CK OF S1GHT. OR TH4T 1'M S3CR3TLY BL1ND. 1 H4V3 R3P34T3DLY R3FUS3D TO COMM3NT ON 31TH3R M4TT3R!! THOS3 F4CTS 4R3 JUST B4S3L3SS SP3CUL4T1ON, FU3L3D BY NOTH1NG MOR3 TH4N 3MP1R1C4L 3V1D3NC3 4ND L34K3D M3D1C4L R3CORDS.

4LL TH3S3 F1NG3RPR1NTS, 4ND DN4 3V1D3NC3 4R3 NOTH1NG MOR3 TH4N TH3 PRODUCT OF TH3 PUBL1C'S OV3R4CT1V3 1M4G1N4T1ON!! 4ND 1T 1S ONLY BY STR1K1NG CO1NC1D3NC3 TH4T MY OLD COLL3G3 N1CKN4M3, WH1CH 1 4LSO 4DOPT3D 4S TH3 N4M3 OF MY COMP4NY, 1S DR. T34L. 1T 1S L1K3W1S3 ONLY CO1NC1D3NC3 TH4T DR. T34L 4ND 1 H4V3 N3V3R B33N S33N 1N TH3 S4M3 PL4C3 4T TH3 S4M3 T1M3, D3SP1T3 NUM3ROUS UNL1K3LY SC3N4R1OS 4R1S1NG TH4T S33M3D 4S 1F TH3Y WOULD FORC3 JUST SUCH 4 DOUBL3 4PP34R4NC3.

BUT, R34LLY, DON'T 4LL TH3 T1M3S 1'V3 B33N JUST B4R3LY OUT OF TH3 ROOM WH3N DR. T34L SHOW3D UP PROV1D3, 4S W3 L4WY3RS L1K3 TO C4LL 1T, R34SON4BL3 DOUBT?? 1N F4CT, 1 H4V3 1T ON GOOD 4UTHOR1TY TH4T DR. T34L FO1L3D 4 B4NK ROBB3RY 4LL TH3 W4Y 4CROSS TOWN JUST MOM3NTS B3FOR3 TH1S PR3SS CONF3R3NC3 B3G4N!! SUR3LY, 1F 1 W3R3 DR, T34L, 1'D N3V3R H4V3 B33N 4BL3 TO M4K3 1T H3R3 SO QU1CKLY!!

NOW, 1'LL T4K3 QU3ST1ONS. MOST 3SP3C14LLY QU3ST1ONS TH4T DON'T R3L4T3 TO HOW 1 KN3W 4BOUT DR. T34L'S 3SC4P4D3S B3FOR3 TH3Y W3R3 R3PORT3D BY 4NY N3WS SOURC3. … Y3S, YOU 1N TH3 STYL1SH F3DOR4.

Jane Crocker here, with the Daily Incipisphere. Are you aware that you are, right now, wearing the signature crime-fighting costume of vigilante, Dr. Teal?

H4H!! DON'T B3 R1D1CULOUS!! 1'M DR3SS3D 1N 4N ORD1N4RY SU1T-4ND-T13, 4S B3F1TS MY M1LD-M4NN3R3D- OH GOG D4MN 1T!! 1 FORGOT TO CH4NG3!!

**Author's Note:**

> It turns out "Dr. Teal" is a brand of scented bath salts. When I found out, I first said to myself, "Dr. Teal sounds like the name Terezi would use as a costumed crimefighter." Then, I said to myself, "Dr. Teal's Aromatherapy Products _also_ sounds like a company she would found." 
> 
> I swear that's the only capacity in which bath salts were involved in the writing of this story.


End file.
